Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
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