I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize