Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
