they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
