i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
