If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize