White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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