if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
