Screwed.edu
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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