Sponge bath it is.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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