Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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