Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
