you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
