Yo dont text me then not text me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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