guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
