Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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