The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
