things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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