I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize