I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
