Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
