After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
