glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
