she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
