I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
