kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
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