neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
