people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
