Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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