Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
