I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
