garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Jerry, you need to find god
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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