It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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