am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
