dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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