when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My vagina is very pro this idea
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
