Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
