Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Randomize
