im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
