so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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