i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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