I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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