She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
