I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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