At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize