She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
