It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
