Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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