and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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