stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you win again, gameday.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
