please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
