"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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