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taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
