This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
