she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dick very happy bro
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
