I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
