He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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