2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
