He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
