How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
