he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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