We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
