I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
