I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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