im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
