is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just invented taco cereal.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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