This is the prime rib incident all over again
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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